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About Your Subscription
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Changing Course
is dedicated to helping you:
~Live Life on Purpose
~Work at What You Love
~Follow Your Own Road
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Inside Today's Issue
Featured Article
Real Talk From Real People About What it Takes to Make Dreams Happen
Featured Resource
Finding Your True Calling
The View From the Other Side
Guest Article
What Do You Prize Most in Mid-life?
Upcoming Workshops & Teleclasses
Resources for A Change
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Do not go where the path may lead, go
instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Real Talk From Real People About
What it Takes to Make Dreams Happen
By Valerie Young
 The
last issue offered a series of lessons about what it takes to achieve a dream.
In it I talked about finally realizing my own long-standing dream of having a
home with a view.
Apparently finding a sense of “home” resonated with a
number of readers who kindly took the time to share with me the joys and
challenges of pursuing their own dreams. Here are their stories in their own
words and what they have to teach us all about going after our dreams.
A Dream Realized
Dear Valerie,
Your recent
article about wanting to live in the country and having that dream become a
reality struck such a cord with me. My husband and I also dreamed of having a
place out in the country with wide open spaces but with housing prices so high
we concluded that we were grateful for our nice little efficient rambler in
town. But we never stopped going for the wandering drives looking for just
“that place” that we could get for a steal. We never gave up hope.
Driving my
two-year-old son around trying to get him to take a nap, I came upon this little
road which was just so picturesque with the nicest farm type places along it and
always thought to myself - "if that house ever comes up for sale, I'm buying
it." Well, lo and behold one of the very old farmsteads came up for auction. I
happened to see the ad in the local newspaper and showed my husband. He was
excited but was hesitant to take such a risk and didn't actually think it would
be something we could afford.
To make a long
story short, after viewing the house at the open house and doing some creative
financing, we went to the auction and stood among 100 other people while the
belongings of this entire 100 year old farm were auctioned off one by one. We
waited nervously all day for the auctioneer to get to the property. Some people
told us not to get our hopes up – that it would go pretty high and we couldn’t
go that high in price and that it needed too much renovating, while others came
in support and wished us the best.
At the end of the
day, we had our house and 15 acres for $87,000! I have to say it was the most
exciting day of my life. Now 3 and a half years later we have done some
renovations, grown a huge garden and feel so incredibly satisfied knowing we
have our little plot of space in the country. The property has literally
tripled in value but we really don't care because we plan on being here until
the cows come home....thanks for all the encouragement.
We are so proud of the risk we took and how well it is turning out. I work part
time at a university in St. Paul (a one hour commute) and my husband is a
carpenter who drives all over. But we both agree that the commuting time is well
worth our life here. We couldn’t imagine a better place to raise our two small
children, let alone ourselves!! I think one of our favorite things is watching
the farmers go by on their tractors and the big round hay bales popping up on
the fields. I know that someday one of our little outbuildings will become my
art studio.
Bonnie Kloos
St. Croix Falls, Wisconsin
A Dream in Progress
Dear Valerie,
I hope you don't mind if I take a
few minutes to share a recent dream of mine. Several years ago a friend told me
of a town called New Bern, NC. The way she described it made it sound idyllic;
she and her husband had discovered the town and bought land there to retire in a
few years. I knew it was a place I had to see...someday.
Recently, I decided that my
10-yr-old daughter and I needed to take a “girls only” vacation. My husband and
son go to Boy Scout summer camp every year and we girls don't do anything
special; this year it's time to change that!
While pondering what places we might
visit, I eventually thought of New Bern. As I mentioned it to other people, I
heard things like, “Oh yes, it's beautiful” or “I've heard wonderful things
about that place.” I also watched a movie (“The Notebook”) based on a book by my
favorite author (Nicholas Sparks). While watching the “author's commentary” on
the DVD, Mr. Sparks mentioned that the movie was set in (or maybe based on) New
Bern, NC, where he lives. That cinched it for me; I just have to see this place,
and the sooner, the better!
I am now trying to choose between
using a friend’s time share week, renting a hotel room, or renting an apartment
in the town. Wherever I decide to stay, my daughter and I are going for a week
in August. I can’t wait to make my dream a reality! I spoke with a Realtor in
New Bern today who told me she's lived in six different places in NC, and she's
“home” now. I just wish I could leave tomorrow to go there!
Thanks so much for helping me take a
few minutes to further dream my own dream. I have started a list of “100 things
to do before I die” and I need to add “Visit New Bern, NC” to it. I plan to
rename my list “100 things to do in my lifetime” instead, though. It just sounds
better.
Kim Murray
Manassas, Virginia
A Dream Adjusted
Dear Valerie,
One thing I
don’t recall you talking about in your recent article is the sacrifices we
sometimes have to make in the realization of our dreams. You talked about
setting goals to realize your dream of finding a house with a view. I did
something similar.
I wanted to
move to San Diego from Washington, DC. It took me five years, but I managed to
get my house repaired and cleaned up and listed with a realtor, search for a
house in San Diego, and finally make the move.
My even longer
term goal was to live for several months at a time in a number of different
countries. I have no idea how to achieve this goal, but it’s certainly worth
writing down. The scariest thing, though, is the sacrifices I would have to
make.
I have 13 cats
and two dogs who I love dearly, like children. I never planned to accumulate all
these animals, but they came to me when my mother died and my daughter had
children. I could never part with them, never. And they won't all die off for
another 15 years or so. By then, I'll be 66! My dilemma is how can I achieve this
long term goal without sacrificing the pets, which I simply am not willing to
do?
Karen Stewart
San Diego, CA
Lessons from Your Fellow Dream Makers
I’m inspired by all three of these dream makers. Bonnie’s
story shows us that despite the odds if you want something bad enough – even if
it feels like a long shot – you owe it to yourself to at least try. My favorite
line from Bonnie’s letter was, “We never gave up hope.” And look where she and
her family are today!
Quite apart from her business (which represents a dream
realized), Kim reminded us that pursing a dream begins by taking small steps.
Often this means the simple act of gathering information. In Kim’s case this
meant actually planning a trip to see if a certain place is right for her and
her family. In your case it may be learning more about what it would take to
restore antique motorcycles, or write children’s books, or become a personal
organizer, or become an event planner, or work with animals, or start an
adventure travel company, or sell on eBay or whatever your dream job might be.
That could involve something as simple as buying a book, doing a bit of online
detective work, taking a class, or interviewing someone who’s done it.
This is not the first time Kim’s has gone after a dream.
Those of you looking for a portable career, may be interested to know that the
reason she can pick up and move is because as a self-employed virtual assistant
(or VA for short); Kim can literally work from anywhere in the world. That’s
because VAs work from home helping clients from literally anywhere in the world
by handling administrative, event planning, travel planning, bookkeeping,
scheduling and/or other functions associated with an executive assistant.
As a big fan of Stacy Brice’s Virtual Assistant training
program, I was thrilled to hear that Kim is an enthusiastic graduate of Stacy’s
program. If you want to learn more about Kim’s business, visit
HarmonyVA.com. To hear my interview with Stacy Brice and learn more about
what a VA does and what takes to make it in this portable home-based business
visit ChangingCourse.com/asktheexpertaudio.htm#stacy.
Last but not least is Karen. Karen’s success in getting
herself from DC to San Diego reminds us that sometimes a dream takes time – in
Karen’s case five years. And, that like any journey, detours and roadblocks can
and do happen. But rather than sit helplessly by the side of the road, dreamers
must also learn to find a way to get to their destination even if that means
sometimes “remapping” the dream.
In Karen’s case this meant adjusting her dream of
spending several months at a time abroad to take into account her new family of
pets – and as any pet lover will tell you they do become like family. What I
suggested Karen do was consider adjusting her goal so she would be away for a
shorter period of time.
What if she lived in a different country for a month
every year instead of several months? In 15 years she would have experienced 15
different countries. Then when the pets are gone, she’ll have enough first hand
experience to know exactly where she’d love to live for longer periods. And
knowing she’d only be away from her pets for four out of 52 weeks would make the
separation (to say nothing of arranging pet care) more manageable. While her
pets would surely miss her, and she them, like any “children,” I think Karen’s
would be proud of her for following your heart.
As for how to afford living abroad, check out Resources
for a Change below.
Given the fact that Karen did what she needed to do to
relocate cross country, it’s clear that Karen understands that when it comes to
going after a dream that sacrifice goes with the territory. She just had to get
over this emotional hump about how to satisfy her wanderlust and be a caring pet
owner. Sometimes just talking a dilemma through with a neutral friend can
re-open a blocked path.
Karen’s letter got me thinking about the topic of
sacrifice. So I began rifling through twelve years worth of past issues of
Barbara Winter’s inspiring newsletter Winning Ways (ChangingCourse.com/winningways.htm) in search of a certain
article. I finally found it in the March/April 1999 issue. The fact that it’s
been six years since I first read Barbara’s thought-provoking article,
“Sacrifice or Stepping Stone” tells you that it made a lasting impression.
In it Barbara talked about how instead of sacrifice being a dirty
word, that when it is in service of your dream, sacrifices are things we
are all too willing to do. Here’s a brief excerpt:
“I was interviewed by a radio station in Washington,
DC about making a living without a job. As I was sharing my enthusiasm for
the joyfully jobless life, the interviewer said, ‘Yes, but what about the
sacrifices? Aren’t there a lot of sacrifices to be made?’ She said the word
‘sacrifices’ as if it were a contagious disease to be avoided at all costs.
While her question and attitude didn’t surprise me, it did cause me to think
about the cultural climate that has made the notion of sacrifice so
repugnant to so many.
Instant gratification has become such a popular idea
that few people are willing to consider that giving up something in the
present in order to have something greater in the future is actually a wise
trade-off.
Victorian author Charles Kingsley defined the
conflict precisely when he observed, ‘We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life when all that we need to make us really
happy is something to be enthusiastic about.’ I suspect that the true reason
the radio interviewer – and many others – shy away from the prospect of
making sacrifices comes from their failure to have something to be
enthusiastic about.
Once you know what it is that you must do in life,
what the world calls sacrifice looks more like a necessary step in the
direction of our dreams rather than a hardship.”
What is it that you must do in your life? What necessary
steps can you take in the direction of your dreams? As these three “regular”
people prove, it doesn’t take an extraordinary amount of courage or money to go
after a dream. But it does take action. As Henry Hoskins once said, “Enthusiasm
finds the opportunities, and energy makes most of them happen.” Go find
something to be enthusiastic about and then make it happen!
About the Author
Off the beaten path career
counselor, Valerie Young, abandoned her corporate cubicle to become the Dreamer
in Residence at
ChangingCourse.com, offering free resources
to help you discover your life mission and live it. An expert on the Imposter
Syndrome, she's presented her How to Feel as Bright and Capable as Everyone
Seems to Think You Are program to over 30,000 people.
Find more articles written by
Valerie at
ChangingCourse.com/articles/ |
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Risk is the
salt and sugar of life. ~ Dame Freya Stark who died at age 100 after
writing 30 books chronicling her life of solo travel throughout the Middle East
and Africa |
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Featured Resource
You May Be All Grown Up... But That's No Reason You Can't Find Your True
Calling... and Live It
 When you really love your work, you don't need an alarm
clock in the morning because you can't wait to get out of bed and dive into
another day where the work feels like play.
Maybe you think it's too late for that. Maybe you believe that you've somehow
missed your True Calling and that, well, you're not getting any younger.
Nonsense. As writer George Eliot once put it, "It's never too late to be what
you might have been."
Discover the work you were born to do... learn how to reawaken the "unique
genius" within you... find out how to redesign your life one step at a time...
and more. This lively and accessible handbook provides proven guidance from the
experts plus real-life stories from average folks who are already living their
dreams. To learn more about Finding Your True Calling visit
http://ChangingCourse.com/findcalling.htm
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The very substance of the ambitions is
merely the shadow of a dream. ~ Shakespeare |
The View From the Other Side
How a Workshop Changed My Life
Valerie,
I just wanted to drop
you a line to let you know just how much the Making Dreams Happen
seminar has affected my life. I attended the inaugural seminar in
Boulder, Colorado in 2003. My goals were:
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Become an
independent writer
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Live in Arizona
from October through May and Colorado from June through September
At that time, I
already lived in AZ and was working at a "regular" job. Honestly, those
goals looked so unobtainable. However, you and the other presenters
explained it was possible.
Well, here is where
I'm at nearly two years later.
Goal One
November 2003,
laid-off and have been an independent writer ever since. It was a slow
start, but September 15, 2004, my phone rang off the hook and my client
list expanded. My reputation is now established and I receive work
regularly. I'm average more income in one month than it took me three
months working at a "regular" job.
Goal Two
We're taking three consecutive weeks
(gasp!) and renting a cabin in the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. During
that time, we are looking at property to buy and build our summer home.
It still amazes me that I didn't have to ask anyone if I could
take time off - we just scheduled it!
This lifestyle allows
us to be together as a family, donate more time and money to our
favorite charitable causes, and my husband and I get to see our son grow
up.
I just wanted to thank you all for the
work you do. If you didn't do this, more people like me would have let
life happen to us instead of dreaming and creating the lives we want! I
cannot thank you enough.
Regards,
Cindy Oman
Note from Valerie:
When I opened Cindy’s email, I thought what better
way to convince you that a workshop really can change your life than
from someone who is finally enjoying the kind of freedom, flexibility,
and quality of life you deserve.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to invite
you to join Barbara Winter, myself, and over a hundred enthusiastic
dreamers August 19-20 in beautiful western Massachusetts for Work at
What You Love: The
Life-Changing Workshop for
People Who Want to Quit Their Jobs and Get a Life. Barbara and I
are thrilled to be working together again and hope you can join us for
what promises to be a truly life-changing event. Learn more at
ChangingCourse.com/workshop.htm
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You see things; and you say “Why?”; But I
dream things that never were; and I say
“Why not?” ~ George Bernard
Shaw |
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Let me
tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my
tenacity. ~ Louis Pasteur |
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Guest Article
What Do You Prize Most in Mid-life?
The Big Question: What's Really Important?
By
Craig Nathanson
The message I deliver most to mid-life
professionals is that a key ingredient of
happiness is finding vocational passion. It’s finding the perfect alignment
of
interests and abilities that make going to work seem like it isn’t work at
all.
People who find the magic balance tend to be healthier and more energetic.
In turn, they find more satisfaction in other areas of their lives.
Too many people go through life without
having their interests and abilities
aligned. The inevitable result is a feeling of deep ennui as people drag
themselves out of bed every day to endure the grind required to support the
lifestyles of their families. You may do this well, even exceptionally. But
the
work itself is rarely what propels people. Instead, it’s a sense of
obligation
or a feeling of being trapped.
But there is another way. You can develop a
plan to escape the grind, then
find work that means something and build a comfortable lifestyle around it.
Too many people allow their lifestyles (or the lifestyles they are
conditioned
to expect) to dictate the kind of work they do. And that is where so many
people get into trouble, both spiritually and financially.
I discovered all of this the hard way. Now,
my mission is to take what I’ve
learned and help others as they transition into their life’s vocational
passion.
This requires courage, risk, and a willingness to make significant personal
changes. But with determination and planning, anyone can do it. You will
later ask yourself why you waited so long.
Waking up to the rest of your life
I had a good job, a million-dollar house, and
a great family. I also had
staggering personal debt from leading a materialistic lifestyle. To top it
off,
I found no satisfaction in my work. My way out came suddenly. Three years
ago, I had an epiphany as I stood before my coworkers, giving yet another
Power Point presentation. I suddenly shut down. I realized that I couldn’t
do
it anymore.
I woke up the next morning and felt, more or
less, back to my old self. Perhaps
they were right, I thought. Maybe I just had a touch of the flu. So I drove
to
work. But I never left the parking lot. I didn’t take the final plunge right
away. I felt too tied to the life I was living. So I struggled through other
jobs over
the next few years. But the results and feelings were the same.
Finally, I had enough. This was despite the
responsibility of being the sole
provider for my wife and three children, having a mortgage, caring for a
seriously ill child, dealing with growing medical bills, and shouldering
$200,000 in credit debt. In 2002, in the middle of a tough economy,
I walked away from a six-figure job as a vice president and managing
director
of a billion-dollar multinational firm.
This time, there was no turning back.
I had no intention of walking away from my
responsibilities. But I had to find
a way to earn an income in a more meaningful way. Today, I have a private
consulting practice, a busy speaking schedule, and a book – all focused on
helping others in mid-life discover and do what they love. Every day in my
practice, I see people who are having the same emotional, professional,
financial, and relationship challenges that I went through.
It wasn’t easy getting here. The first few
years were extremely painful.
Financial stress increased, relationships were strained, and emotional
stress
reached all-time highs. But now, three years later, I have finally emerged
with
a more congruent and authentic life. I say with confidence that it has all
been
worth it.
The first step: Know what matters to you
If you want to find your vocational passion,
it has to begin with a question:
What is most important to you? This may be the most important question
you will ever ask yourself. You need to look deep inside yourself to turn
your vague longings into tangible goals, with real paths toward achieving
them.
Once you answer the question and see the path
that the answers light for you,
then it’s time to summon the courage to make the transition.
Matt Vande Voorde walked away from an
executive position at a large bank to
follow what he prized most in his life: magazine publishing. His dream was
to
one day publish a magazine targeted at helping people with disabilities use
the
Internet. Today, Matt is the proud publisher of Accessible Content Magazine.
Jim Goebelbecker was tired of long hours selling products that he didn’t
care
about. He prized his family and nonprofit work. He also took a risk and
never
looked back. Today, Jim is an executive with a large nonprofit on the east
coast. He works just 10 minutes away from his home.
Five steps to discover and follow your
passion
Making this level of change in your life
isn’t an overnight process. Once you
understand that a change is essential to making the rest of your life
matter,
you can follow this simple process to move your dreams and desires into
concrete actions.
-
Evaluate what you want. Ask the big
questions and answer them honestly. Why lie to yourself?
-
Envision your future. You need to
visualize what you’re dreaming about.
Then, develop a concrete understanding of what it will take to get
there.
-
Tune out negative feedback. Everyone will
try to talk you out of doing this. Listen to yourself.
-
Assess your risks. Take an inventory of
your assets, obligations, and health. Then, make the necessary
adjustments that will minimize the impact and risk of making a major
life change.
-
Take small steps. You don’t have to quit
tomorrow. You can start in small
ways by doing research on your dream vocation, maybe taking a class. Or
you can make small lifestyle changes to reduce your personal “burn
rate.”
In the end, you must give yourself permission
to follow your heart. That’s
what I did. So did Matt, Jim, and so many others. They now jump out of bed
each morning looking forward to a day of vocational passion. You can have
this feeling too. First, you must decide what’s really most important.
About the Author
Craig Nathanson, The Vocational
Coach, is the author of “P Is For Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day,” by
Book Coach Press. He publishes the monthly ezine, “Vocational Passion
in Mid-life.” Craig believes the world works a little better when we do the
work we love. He helps those in mid-life carry this out. Visit his online
community at
TheVocationalCoach.com
where you can
sign up for his monthly Teleclass, How to Make Money and Meaning in
Mid-life, join an action group or get private coaching.
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We
know what we are, but know not what we may be. ~ Shakespeare |
Upcoming Workshops & Teleclasses
This Summer, Discover How to Replace
Your Job With Work You Really Love…
and Gain the Freedom, Flexibility,
and Quality of Life You Deserve
-
Find out how you can escape the J-O-B box… and uncover a whole new world
of possibilities.
-
Tap your wildest dreams... and create a step-by-step plan to make them
happen right now...
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Discover the powerful secret to turning almost
anything into an alternative
to a job...
-
Highly successful entrepreneurs do it instinctively. Now you can, too.
Learn powerful, proven techniques for transforming ideas into bankable
income.
Work at What You Love:
The
Life-Changing Workshop for
People Who Want to Quit Their Jobs and Get a Life
August 19-20, 2005
Northampton,
Massachusetts
ChangingCourse.com/workshop.htm
How to Feel As Bright and Capable As Everyone Seems
to Think You Are: What Every Woman (and Man) Needs to Know About Competence,
the Impostor Syndrome, and the Art of Winging It
Are You An
“Impostor”? Take the Quiz
-
Do you secretly worry
others will find out you’re not as intelligent and competent as they seem to
think you are?
-
Do you often dismiss your
accomplishments as a “fluke” or “no big deal?”
-
Are you convinced that
“responsible people” in “responsible jobs” are a lot more “adult” than you?
-
Do you sometimes shy away
from challenges because of nagging self-doubt?
-
Are you crushed by even
constructive criticism, taking it as evidence of your ineptness? Is your
definition of competence: perfection with ease?
-
Does the thought of not
knowing 150% strike fear in your heart?
If so, join the club. Over
20,000 people have attended this enlightening workshop. And now you can too.
You CAN feel like the smart, talented, self-assured person everyone else
seems to think you are. Join me to learn why so many intelligent, capable people
suffer from the so-called Impostor Syndrome and what it takes to overcome it!
Tuesday,
June 14 from 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm EST
ChangingCourse.com/impteleclass.htm
Not sure how a
Teleclass works? Click here to find out
If You've Ever Dreamed of
Living the Exciting Life of a Travel Writer, You Won't Want to Miss Out On This
Opportunity
How would you like to get paid for traveling the world? Or
stay free in boutique hotels... dine as a guest in top
restaurants... and get complimentary tickets to top
events?
This July, find out how you can earn extra income traveling
around the world, meeting new people, and enjoying the freedom
and independence of a writer's life.
In just 4 days in New York City July 21 - 24, you can...
Learn the secrets of becoming a successful travel writer,
from a group of the best editors and writers in the business...
Discover the little-known techniques travel writers use to
land concert tickets... meals... vacations... and more...without
paying a dime...
Walk away with a short publishable piece... and the contact
information for editors we know who are happy to work with new
writers...
Find out how easy it is to earn extra income while you travel
the world... meet new people... and enjoy the freedom and
independence of a writer's life...
Thursday, July 21 - Sunday, July 24
New York, NY
TheTravelWritersLife.com/workshop/cc
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Get Paid to Shop
Yes, you can really get paid to shop!
Mystery shopping is easy and fun, and it is a great way to make extra money in
your spare time. Mystery shoppers get paid for providing valuable customer
service feedback by visiting stores, restaurants, banks, salons, movie theaters,
hotels and other businesses as "undercover customers."
Cathy
Stucker (aka The Idea
Lady) offers a list of FAQ about Mystery Shopping, a free Mystery Shopping 101
guide, and
the only Mystery Shopper's Manual endorsed by the Mystery Shopping
Providers Association.
IdeaLady.com/moreinfo.html |
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Resources for a Change
Living and Working Overseas
One inexpensive way to travel is to swap homes with
people from around the country or around the world. Try one of these home
matching sites
HomeLink.org,
Intervac-Online.com, or
HomeExchange.com. If you don’t like the idea of someone being in your home,
Home Exchange also lists home rentals which tend to be less expensive than a
hotel and offer added savings of a kitchen so you dine out less often.
To keep your goal in view subscribe to a magazine like
TransitionsAbroad.com
which features articles and resources on
how to start a business in another country, finding paid work, volunteering
abroad, and lots more.
To learn about overseas jobs, real estate listings, and
other helpful information about living and working in another country check out
EscapeArtist.com.
In addition to paid property caretaking positions the
Caretaker Gazette
ChangingCourse.com/caretaker.htm often features listings of people looking
to swap homes, house sit, or just host international guests.
For additional resources go to the Resources for Travel Lovers section at
ChangingCourse.com/cooljobs.htm
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live
life on purpose